Showing posts from September, 2019

The Forever Dance

My wife loses her wallet nine times a week on average. She can NEVER find it. My job is to find it. It's an unwritten law. If I don't find it within ten or fifteen minutes I am deemed hopeless as a hunter-gatherer by her DNA. I gotta climb down off my silver steed, pull my helmet visor up, and scour the Kingdom. Now over 15 years that means she's lost it seven thousand and twenty times. I have found it seven thousand and ten times. Our daughters, the dogs and the cat have found it the remaining ten times. Once early on it was under a saucepan lid. So naturally every time she calls out "Have you seen my purse?" I say, almost every time, "Did you check under the saucepan lid?" This gets no laughs at all. Today she lost it again. She arrived home from the shops, came in the house and said "Have you seen my purse?" I said "Didn't you take my car out last night? Maybe it's in there?" "I took it out of your car this morning