Gravity, Oxygen, Ancillary gasses, Health Care

The Trump White House has asked me for advice on how to govern. I've responded thusly: "Start by killing yourselves. This would go a long way to meeting the promise of one of your major election campaign promises - draining the swamp. All those unable to figure out how to kill themselves are therefore unlikely to be able to figure out how to immediately kill somebody else. With this policy you buy some time. Secondly introduce bills which are far more simple, basic, and more prone to be passed, thereby allowing you to lay the groundwork upon which to build a feasible governing entity. First new bill to be introduced would be fundamental, simple, basic. For example: The Gravity Bill - under which all Americans are covered by the forces and reach of gravity. Second Bill would be The Oxygen Bill... under which all Americans, excepting perhaps anaerobic organisms, are covered by the reach and plentifulness of Oxygen and whatever ancillary gases are required for life, metabolism, respiration etc. This Bill would also ensure that all plant life are covered by immediate and ongoing access to Carbon Dioxide. There shall be no Oxygen trading scheme and no Oxygen tax.

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