Still More Excerpts from: "Life Tips For The Young"


Neighbours
That singular grouping of peoples for whom the distance between claimed knowledge and actual knowledge is greatest of all.

Next Door Neighbours
Better off left to their own devices. The next door neighbour serves the purpose of letting you know, in small digestible portions, that no matter how bizarre, infantile or selfish the behaviour of your family members they will never be any match for those utter lunatics next door.

Moving House
When you move into a new neighbourhood be aware of one thing and one thing only. The neighbour who first goes out of their way to greet you and make you feel welcome in your new surrounds is bound to be the local crackpot on whom everyone else has already given up.
The neighbours then introduce themselves to you in reverse order, from the furthermost edge of the lunatic fringe ever inward toward something approaching a calm or at least sedated centre.

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