Kablam

President Karen didn’t like to lose the election.

But his sole professional skill, as it turned out, was not even a skill and everyone knew it. It’s something anyone can do. It has no value.

But since it was his only ‘skill’ he used it. This ‘skill’ was firing people.

Not like a Boss.

But like a Karen.

Post election he called the manufacturers of viagra and sacked them over the phone.

“We don’t work for you, president Karen,” they said.

“But I lost my election…” he whimpered from the 11th green.

“We have nothing to do with elections,” said the Viagra execs.

“It’s already been ten days and still no election….” Cried Karen.

“We deal with erectile dysfunction,” said exec #1.

“Covfefe?” Said President Karen.

Karen waddled into the member’s section back at the clubhouse and sacked an illegal immigrant he had hired just a week earlier.

“Why you sack me?” Said Philip (he was from Dakota which Karen mistook for a central American tinpot dictatorship)

Because he had dared speak Karen sacked him again.

He then sacked people who told him he had lost the election. This was even though it was splattered all over every news outlet - he had lost. By a landslide, said some.

Since he could not sack the journalists who reported the loss he sacked instead the people who were on his staff who agreed with what the journalists were all saying.

He sacked the people who even hinted at his loss.

He sacked the people who knew the people who even hinted at his loss.

He tried to sack their families too but fortunately they were under the employ of others.

He called their bosses and tried to convince them to sack the families of the people who had even hinted at his loss. But those bosses did not work for Trump.

No.

They had resisted entering the Trump vacuum. The black hole from which nothing returns.

After weeks of above par scores out on the links - Karen, when asked, always claimed his score that day had been above par, to which golfing people replied 'you mean “over” par', to which Karen would respond by deporting their families to Cuba - Karen had sacked everyone within a five mile radius of himself.

But it wasn’t enough. Joe Biden was preparing to be sworn in. Kamala Harris was posting videos of herself holding hands with her happy and contented husband and uncorrupted children.

Karen then started sacking his own family. DJ was first to go. Then Eric. Then Tiffany. Then Gucci who, it turned out, did not exist. Then Brandon…. And then, penultimately, he sacked Ivanka because her name reminded him somehow of Vincent Price and Dracula.

Melania by this time had sold the rights to her name to a chain of cancer clinics.

Trump then turned his fickle finger toward himself. There was no one left to fire.

As he mouthed the words “Your fired” a tiny flag popped out from the end of his pointer finger with a single word written across it.

‘KABLAM!’ Was all it said.